Netflops

Why it's not yet time to cash in our TV and radio chips...

Stood getting covered in someone else's water particles while my hands stayed sodden in this Mitsubishi Electric Dyson hand dryer rip-off when I got to thinking about Netflix.

While everyone crows about how great algorithms are, and how AI is (and has been for the past 30 years) on the bring of killing us all off, here's me looking through my TV and film recommendations wondering where they got the idea I was a big fan of programming associated with cupcakes.

But then you keep spooling down the page and even with your own input the choices get no better.

Netflix is a dud. Which got me wondering whether I live in my own simulation. Some people talk about getting rid of their TV licence and just watching YouTube and Netflix and stuff and I'm like what the hell are you thinking? What are you seeing that I do not? Because unless I want to know about some guy who loves fitting wooden floors, or a woman with a truck who thinks Idaho is the sweetest place on earth, I'm kinda out of luck.

The more time I spend being casually 'entertained' by stuff online, the more I appreciate proper thought gone into any kind of visual or aural production. The more podcasts I hear the more I realise that BBC Radio 4 is a true work of genius. The more "Cassie's Pineapple Rings Are On Fire!", the more times I watch Planet Earth to normalise.

I don't get this fetishisation of all these new platforms and their content. YouTube is a magician at entrancing kids away from their homework. But that's all it is - mind alchemy. And we all know that David Copperfield didn't really make the Statue of Liberty disappear.

Podcasting shows potential, but it's not there yet. We're all still trying stuff out to see what works best in people's ears.

Sometimes we forget that we're just starting this digital journey. In much the same way as I'm not yet ready to have a robot take care of my cosmetic surgery needs, I think we should all give it a good few years before we start cashing in our television and radio chips and giving ourselves wholly to the web and its wonders.